


Ways to Tell Your Crush That You Love Him Without Actually Telling Him

by and_all_of_my_ships_have_set_sail



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Fluff, I Believe in Sherlock Holmes, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Sorry I’ll Stop Now, Tags Are Fun, These are Random Tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2644388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_all_of_my_ships_have_set_sail/pseuds/and_all_of_my_ships_have_set_sail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fluffy tale of Sherlock, John, and opinions on surprise butt sex<br/>Also, random internet people give bad advice. Especially if they are from the colonies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ways to Tell Your Crush That You Love Him Without Actually Telling Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ship_the_ships](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ship_the_ships/gifts).



> Hey… This is my first fic, like, ever  
> Any and all comments are welcome  
> YAY Johnlock!!!!!  
> 

“Wrong… Wrong… Wrong… What?! Surprising your man with butt sex is not a cute way to tell him that you like him!” Sherlock Holmes cried out in frustration as he scrolled through the blog of “boyluvr69” on “Ways to Tell Your Crush That You Love Him Without Actually Telling Him.”

“What is it about the word 'crush’ that makes me think of the boa constrictor case? It’s those American teenage girls, more vicious and predatory and sentimental,” this last word said with a note of disgust, “than any vicious snake. I should remind Mycroft to keep the colonies under control. And also steal his umbrella,” he added as an afterthought.

“Ah, here’s something interesting! ‘Tell Him Jokes - He’ll think it’s cute!’ What? I don’t want to be _cute_. But this may work…"

And with this, he closed the laptop and began scribbling furiously on the back of an autopsy report.

 

A few minutes later, Sherlock spoke again. “John? Why weren’t the foreigners allowed in the cemetery? They could only inter nationals.”

 

“Hey John, did you hear about the cartoonist found dead in his home? The details were a bit sketchy,” he said, moments later.

 

“J-“This time he was interrupted by the sound of the door. “Hello John. I didn’t realize you had gone out to the grocery store. Oh, lovely, you brought tea. Some for me, as well? Brilliant."

As John made his way to the kitchen, Sherlock sighed with a mixture of relief and disappointment, tore up his notes, and followed his friend(?) to the kitchen to get a cup of tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's the general consensus? Comments please

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if I should add to this! Again, feedback is welcome. In fact, it is encouraged!


End file.
